Take the Pain Away

God, just one touch from you can take away all my pain,  

God, just a whisper from your lips can heal my broken soul. 

So why?  

Why do you sit on you throne and watch me suffer?  

Why do you sit there and watch me cry?  

God I told you I don’t want to do this anymore.

I can’t go through this anymore . 

I wake up bed bound, 

Not wanting to get up  

And sure I might have prayed for this life  

But I’m not quite feeling this vibe  

They told me to follow you 

They told to become one with you 

They told me to surrender to you  

They told me once I surrender that my life will be better 

They told me if I give myself over to you  

That you’ll make a way when there seems to be no way  

They told me you’re a God that never fails  

So I listened. 

I got close to you, I surrendered to you 

I live my life in a way that glorifies you   

I was promised a life of abundance and quickly answered prayers 

But it seems like ever since I started walking intimately with you it’s been one thing after the next 

It’s been pain, it ‘s been loss, it’s been a life full of tears 

So why do you sit there and watch me suffer day, after day?  

The people that don’t even know you seem to be in love with their lives. 

Their hearts are just fine, they don’t cry at night . 

Why should I die to myself and give it all to you if this is what I get in return? 

I cried out to you, I opened my heart to you,  

I told you the pain brewing in my soul  

And instead of taking it way  

you  showed me Habakkuk 2:3  

” It is not yet time for the message to come true,
but that time is coming soon;
the message will come true.
It may seem like a long time,
but be patient and wait for it,
because it will surely come;
it will not be delayed.” NCV 

God why would you tell me to wait patiently on you when you can see I’m at the end of my strength?

I can’t wait a long time, I need you to intervene right now   

I heard you’re a right now God. Can’t you do it right now? 

The God that made the sun stand still, can’t you end it right now?  

The God that raises the dead and heals the sick, can’t you end it right now? 

God why do I have to keep going through this?  

 

 

I’m growing you through this. 

My grace is sufficient for you.  

My grace is sufficient for you.  

My daughter My grace is sufficient for you.  

I’m creating something new in you.  

I putting something inside of you that this world can’t give you.  

I have great plans for you but it’s going to cost you something.  

Your obedience is my requirement.  

I have plans to prosper you and not to harm you  

Plans to give you a hope and a future.  

Be patient and wait on me. My timing is what’s best.  

 

 

God, I’m sorry  

I’m sorry for doubting you. I’m sorry for questioning you.

You are my God.

Thank you for you are.

Yes, I was promised an abundant life and quickly answered prayers.

I came to you for what you could do, 

But I’ve gotten so much more. 

This current situation has made me forget  

But I will remember .

When times were tough it was your joy that brought me through  

When it seemed like it would never end  

You opened the door and made a way  

You gave something in addition to answered prayers, you gave me you  

You showed me that I can depend on you  

You showed me that I can lean on you  

So even when it hurts I will cry out Abba  

You’re a good good father  

Even when it hurts I will call your name  

I will say that  you are good  

I will say that you are worthy  

God you are my all in all  

You are my everything  

You are God and God alone  

You know what you’re doing  

I will be patient and I will wait on you  

One touch from you can take it away

But One touch of your grace 

Can sustain me in the middle of it  

I will run race my race  

I will stay the course  

I know you’re doing a work on the inside for me  

I know after I have been tested I will come out as gold  

My prize isn’t here on here on earth but heavenward in Christ Jesus 

I will store my treasure in heavenly places, not in this world  

You are the greatest gift I can receive, you God are all I need 

I will not let my faith be shaken but I will wait on you and I will trust in you  

God you are my rock and my firm foundation  

So daddy I thank you 

Thank you for who you are  

Thank you for your grace  

No matter what happens my hope and my confidence is in you  

Abba, I belong to you  

Getting Back To A Place Of Rest

Have you ever been so scared to do something because you didn’t know how it was going to turn out? Well that was me not too long ago.

A few weeks ago I spent a couple weeks just being really sad and full of anxiety about the future. I was really stressed out because I was so scared how different situations were going to turnout. I spent entire days talking myself into and out of doing something. I was trying to figure out what the outcome was going to be for every decision I made and in trying to do so I didn’t do anything. I was in a state of unrest and confusion.

Then I had a wonderful conversation with a friend and it changed everything for me. She told me that me trying to figure out everything on my own is me not trusting God. I was trusting in my own abilities and my own strength to be able to move forward with my life. God used that conversation to show me how indecisive I was being and how that indecision was leading me to stagnancy. Instead of just taking a step forward I was trying to plan everything out. But if I say I surrender my life to God, and I trust in his unending plan for me, I shouldn’t be worried about the future.

I’ve come up with a motto whenever the thought “How’s it going to turn out?” pops up in to my head.

It’s none of my business.

It’s not my job to worry about how it will turn out. If I say I’m trusting God, I need to pray and trust that God will fulfill the desires he has put in my heart.

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:6-8

The two weeks of depression, anxiety and indecisiveness I went through were really annoying to me because before that I was resting in God. I was full of peace. I was all about Philippians 4:6-7.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Then my friend said something else to me that also got my attention.

It’s one thing to get into God’s rest, it’s another thing to stay there.

The are so many distractions in the world that can easily get our attention and pull us away from God. We need to be actively guarding our thoughts and discerning the information we consume.

So after that day I went on a mission to get back to that place of rest and stay there.

My control problem hasn’t magically disappeared. I’m still working on not worrying so much about the outcome. It’s a process and it’ll take time but I fully intend on releasing the need to have control. I’m resting in God, taking steps to move forward with my life and not focusing so much on how everything is going to turn out. Because it’s none of my business.

 

Learning To Let Go And Let God

You know how people always say we shouldn’t worry and trust God to take care of our worries? I’ve always felt like it was so easy to say, but so much harder to do. But you know what?

I’m finally learning to let go and let God. Things I used to worry about so often don’t even get the time of day in my thoughts anymore. I’m finally learning to take the things that are bothering me to God and leave them at the altar. My whole life I’ve been hearing that’s what I need to do, and I’ve always been like how??? Do you realize how hard it is to just forget about what’s bothering you?

But somehow I’m managing to do so.

How? By spending time with God. All this time I thought I had to will myself to give the burdens on my heart to God. But me learning to leave the burdens at the altar has been happening without me even trying. I’ve furthered my relationship with God by spending time praying and studying the word. I invite God into my daily activities and talk to God throughout the day. I’ve become much less stressed about my life. I don’t have to will myself to take the burdens on my heart to God. God kinda just sneaks them away from me while I stand in awe of Him.

More than just learning to give God my worries, my behavior and my desires are changing too.  My heart’s desires are being filled with His and it’s pretty awesome!

But it’s definitely been a process for me to get to this point. It used to be a chore for me to set aside quiet time to study my bible and pray. I had to force myself to do it. Then over time it became something I looked forward to. Then there came a peace that fell over me during my quiet time. Then I started praying and quoting scripture throughout my day. Then the peace that fell over me in my quiet time started staying with me all day long.

Stress and anxiety are being pushed out. Not because I try to force them out, but because I have become so filled with the things of the Lord, that stress and anxiety no longer have a place to call home in my heart and mind!

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7