God, If I’m Being Honest… (An Open Letter)

God,

This is my honest letter to you.

I know you’re all knowing and ever present, but there is a part of me that thinks I know better than you. A part of me thinks I can plan and  execute my life better than you can. I know, it’s crazy. But this is my honest letter. Sometimes you take too long and I prefer to take matters into my own hands and make things happen myself. I know what you’ve called me to do so I made plans to fund the calling on my life and started a couple business ventures without you. I want to live out your purpose for my life, but your girl doesn’t want to be broke doing so. Your girl has plans of being wealthy. So I think it’s a good idea to  pursue wealth first, then go ahead and do what you’ve called me to do. That way everything you’ve called me to do becomes optional and I’ve still got wealth. Don’t worry, I plan on helping people and starting non-profit organizations with my wealth. God if I’m being honest, I’m grateful you saved me, your love for me is amazing, your joy in my life is unshakable, your peace really does pass understanding, I want you at the center of my life, but the thing is, I don’t want to depend on you. I’m just being honest.

But here’s what I’ve discovered. Living a life dependent on you is actually the sweetest thing. I don’t know what you did to me in the last week of January (Yes, your girl only learned to surrender a whole 6 weeks ago – and still learning) but you came in and made surrender my heart’s posture.

One question someone asked changed it all. “What would your life look like if it was God’s plan for your life and not your plan?” 

And it was like every song, scripture, and sermon I encountered the month after was about surrender, obedience, and doing what you want. This series especially.

I’ve discovered when I try to do it on my own, I mess it up. Apparently, you fund your ideas and don’t really need my fundraising business campaigns. What I discovered is that I can still get the business, still get the wealth, but your timing, your plan, and your way is so much better.

But if I’m being honest, what I want more than what I want, is what you want. God, I want a life dependent on you no matter what that looks like. I want you to get the glory out of my life. I want my life to leave a track record of miracles, a track record of your power, your grace, and your hand on my life. I want it be so evident God was here. Let people look at my life and be forced to say, only God did that. God come in and have your way. When I wrote my most recent blog post about setting goals for the year, I was setting goals without you.

Well God, I’m here to say I’m sorry. Take my goals, my plans, my ideas, my selfish ambitions and make them yours. I drop every plan that was made without you, and I say Yahweh, have your way. This life is yours.

Sincerely your daughter,

Adebosoye – The crown has returned to the throne 

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. – Galatians 2:20

 

His Sweet Sweet Love

 

Why does God love us so much?  

When I sit down to think about how God is working all the intricate details of my life together, I can’t help but think why me? Why do you care so much about me? Like Psalm 8:4 says,  

                                       What is man that You are mindful of him,
                                         And the son of man that You visit him? 

One thing I know for sure is that I don’t deserve it; his perfect unending love for me.   

When my relationship with God started getting deeper, it was because I wanted to see some prayers answered. I used to be frustrated and full of anxiety because of what I was praying too see take place in my life. But as I grew closer to God, his love filled me more and more. My relationship with God went from being about what God  could do for me, to what God was doing in me. His love overwhelmed me, and I learned to have peace even when my prayers seemed like they weren’t going to be answered. I learned to be filled with joy, wake up with a smile on my face, and say “Good Morning Lord,” simply because of who he is.  

The love of God brought contentment to my spirit. Then suddenly, God answered my prayers and my relationship with him still hasn’t changed. I haven’t strayed away because my prayers have now been answered. The same love that saw me through and molded my heart to be more like his, is the same overwhelming love I feel everyday.  God used the time when it seemed like my prayers weren’t  going to be answered, to process me. Now not only have my prayers been answered, but I am filled with his love, which was really the best thing to have received in the first place. I also realize that God didn’t answer my prayers just for me. I know he wants to use me to spread his love and to be a blessing to others. My relationship with God isn’t only about what’s he doing in me, but what he’s doing through me. 

I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love.  And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God. 

Ephesians 3:17-19 

I don’t understand why he loves us so much but I know it’s the best thing I have ever experienced. I know I can never go back to the way I used to be. Circumstances can change. More prayer request will come up and there will be more things to stress about.  But the love of God can never be shaken in my life.  

Thank you for loving me God. Thank you so much for meeting me where I was. Thank you for processing me. Thank you for your love. 

This Prayer Is For…

Heavenly Father,

This prayer is for him. This prayer is for her.

The one that sits alone at night, wondering if this is all to their life.

The one longing for an answer. The one looking to find meaning in their life.

The one who wants to discover the reason they were created.

This prayer is for the one that is scared to trust you.

This prayer is for the one that doesn’t want to sing your praises.

This prayer is for the one that doesn’t know that your Son is the only way to be saved.

Heavenly Father,

This prayer is for her. This prayer is for him.

I pray that one day they get to know you, I pray they get to know you well.

I pray that one day they long to sing your praises.

I pray that you knock on the door of their hearts, and I pray they receive your Son as Lord and Savior.

I pray they become filled with your overwhelming joy, I pray they discover that your joy is their strength.

That void that they’re looking to the world to fill, I pray that one day it will be filled by you.

Lord this prayer is for him. This prayer is for her. This prayer is for their souls.

I pray that one day they get to know you, I pray that one day they let you make them whole.

I don’t know when that one day is, but I pray that one day will come.

I want them to experience you.

I want everyone to receive your Son and experience your presence, I want everyone to experience your joy.

Your joy is too good for it to be experienced by a few, your love is too great for the whole world not to know.

I want as many people as possible to experience the joy of you.

I pray their one-day will come. I pray it will come quickly.

I pray they make their hearts your home.

Heavenly Father, this prayer is for every lost soul. 

How’s Your Mental Health? Let’s Talk About It

Who is there to lift you up when things are tough? Who are the people that are there for you when life gets hard? Who do you talk to when God seems too distant to hear your cries?

I truly believe that there is nothing the love of God cannot overcome. But I also know that God has also given us each other. The two greatest commandments Jesus gave to us, are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our soul, and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It means that this life isn’t supposed to be just me and God and I’m good. It’s important that we are plugged into a community where we can support and lift each other up. But what do you do when you have that community and no one seems capable of understanding your problems? What do you do with the overwhelming and overbearing baggage? What do you do when you want to, when you NEED to seek professional help?

When we’re physically ill, we go and see a doctor. If a friend of ours has cancer, we wouldn’t let them sit on the couch and pray until they’re healed. We’d tell them to go get treated and pray all through the treatment process. Likewise, we need to do the same with our mental health. Depression and anxiety can no longer just be attacks of the enemy that need to be prayed away. It’s time we start taking our mental health more seriously and also encourage those around us to do so as well. God has given us each other to lean on as a community. We’re an interdependent specie and it can’t just be about me and God. There’s a community aspect to it as well.

This is why I love the psyndup platform. It’s a platform to discuss mental health issues and to find help for those issues, in a place where mental health isn’t taken too seriously. It’s not only in Christian circles but also in some cultural circles where the lack of seriousness surrounding mental health is a problem. But no matter what religion or culture is in place, we need to make sure that our mental health is taken as seriously as our physical health.

We also have to remember that there is another side. There’s the side when we come out of the struggle victorious. There’s the side when we’ve dealt with the issue, and are put in a better position to help others because of our experiences. Things may be tough now, and it may seem like there is no way out, but it can, and it does get better.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18   

 

It’s Valentine’s Day, I’m Single, But I’m In Love!

So it’s that time of year again. It’s Valentine’s Day! Around this time of year I used to get kind of sad if I didn’t have a man to spend time with on Valentine’s day. I always wanted someone to be around just for the sake of having someone around.

But this year it’s completely different. I almost forgot about Valentine’s day altogether. This year I am filled with the greatest love I’ve ever known. Yup the love of God. And no it’s not an excuse because I don’t have a man this Valentine’s day, and I have to fall back on God. I’m truly filled with the greatest love I’ve ever known. In the past if someone asked me out for Valentine’s day, I would jump at the opportunity to have a date for the day. If it’s a guy that I can talk to and get along well with, I would’ve said yes without thinking twice. This year I got asked out for Valentine’s day but I decided to say no.

Not just because my worth isn’t in having someone around for Valentine’s day, but also because I’m filled with so much love from God. God truly fills my heart and I am in a place where I am content in my singleness. I’ve learned to love God and have God’s love be enough for me. So I’m waiting on God’s best for me, and no longer entertaining relationships that aren’t God’s best for me.

There’s a joy in my heart that I really can’t put into words. I wake up filled with joy, spend my day filled with joy, and go to sleep filled with joy. I can honestly say it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s a joy that doesn’t change based on circumstances and situations, because I know the God I serve.

The void I tried to fill with a man could not be filled by a man. Only God can fill it and he has. That’s not to say I don’t wish I had a man sometimes. I do hope to get married one day and fulfill the purpose God has for me and my one day husband.  Some days I’m like “Ok hubby! You need to show up!”. But even with that, I always come back to focusing on God, and focusing on accomplishing the purpose God has called me to fulfill in this season. Even when I do get married my husband won’t take the place of God’s love in my heart. He’s not even capable of doing so. It’s so important come to a place of feeling complete and content with God’s love while single. That way when we do get married we’re not putting expectations on our spouses to give us the love that is only possible from God.

So yup! It’s Valentine’s day, I’m single but I’m very much in love!