Her Confidence Is Encompassing

She walks into a room with so much confidence.

She’s such a presence.

Her confidence is encompassing, her beauty is captivating.

Every step that she takes it like she’s walking the winner’s circle.

Her style precedes her inner strength.

Her smile exudes the warmth of a 1000 hugs.

She has a soul so generous, that it’s impossible to fathom how it continues to give.

She has a soul holding a heart filled with so much love,

that it’s all she thinks of, so it’s all she speaks of.

Her laughter is a clearly a creation of the master.

But you really should hear her past life.

This woman is a product of a marvelous disaster.

She was lost at a point with no direction for her future,

Cut open by the world, left in need of sutures.

Desperate to hold on to control of her life,

She continually neglected the calls of the Lord.

Sure of the outcome of her own success,

her own plans for what’s next, her own steps to rest,

she stepped into darkness, and one mess after the next.

Sure she’d find her own way through,

she put God aside for only Sunday school.

Left with open wounds, trying to find healing in the world,

she wrapped herself in layers to try to hide the open pain.

But she was left like a child wrapped in a blanket of uncertainty.

A child crying out for the love, the love of her father.

She stepped out darkness, and into his marvelous light.

Took off the layers, and let God operate on the pain.

Went from a Sunday school relationship, to a

I can’t live without you, I can’t breathe without you,

God I need you at center of everything, you are my everything relationship.

She allowed herself to be processed by him, broken for him,

built up by him, she learned to trust in him.

She stepped away from the world and into his word.

She let his peace fill her beyond human understanding.

This woman has learned to let God be the foundation of her soul.

She’s learned to let God be her father, her healer, her comforter, her master,

she’s let God be her all in all.

Yes, she walks into a room with so much confidence, and her confidence is encompassing,

and her beauty is captivating, and her style precedes her inner strength,

but it wasn’t without process.

Her outward appearance is a reflection of her heart,

The gentle and quiet spirit the Lord has worked on in her,

The incorruptible beauty she gained when she let him in.

Beyond giving her life to Christ, I’m talking she let him in everything.

Threw her hands up and said Lord my life is yours.

She’s still a work in progress, but she knows the Lord will see her through.

Pulling her deeper, processing her through his songs, through his word, through his love.

This woman was once controlled by the world’s splendor,

but only until she learned the posture of surrender.

This Prayer Is For…

Heavenly Father,

This prayer is for him. This prayer is for her.

The one that sits alone at night, wondering if this is all to their life.

The one longing for an answer. The one looking to find meaning in their life.

The one who wants to discover the reason they were created.

This prayer is for the one that is scared to trust you.

This prayer is for the one that doesn’t want to sing your praises.

This prayer is for the one that doesn’t know that your Son is the only way to be saved.

Heavenly Father,

This prayer is for her. This prayer is for him.

I pray that one day they get to know you, I pray they get to know you well.

I pray that one day they long to sing your praises.

I pray that you knock on the door of their hearts, and I pray they receive your Son as Lord and Savior.

I pray they become filled with your overwhelming joy, I pray they discover that your joy is their strength.

That void that they’re looking to the world to fill, I pray that one day it will be filled by you.

Lord this prayer is for him. This prayer is for her. This prayer is for their souls.

I pray that one day they get to know you, I pray that one day they let you make them whole.

I don’t know when that one day is, but I pray that one day will come.

I want them to experience you.

I want everyone to receive your Son and experience your presence, I want everyone to experience your joy.

Your joy is too good for it to be experienced by a few, your love is too great for the whole world not to know.

I want as many people as possible to experience the joy of you.

I pray their one-day will come. I pray that it will come quickly.

I pray they make their hearts your home.

Heavenly Father, this prayer is for every lost soul. 

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me?

Why didn’t anyone tell me THIS is what it feels like?

I’ve been around church people my whole life. I used to get so mad when my mom would make my younger brother and I go to church with her on Wednesday evenings. I remember how annoyed I was when I went to school the day after the blinky do shoes episode of My Wife and Kids aired, and everyone was talking about it. I was mad I didn’t get to watch it because I was at church. I couldn’t comprehend why people would willingly spend a week night in church. And then there were the night vigils! Those I really couldn’t understand. Whyyyyy would anyone want to be in church on a Friday till 2am? I remember many night vigils when my friends and I went down on our knees, faced our chairs, and pretended we were praying. We were actually taking a nap with our heads buried in our arms.

I remember car rides with my mom always meant worship music was the genre of choice. Sometimes when I was in the car with my mom or dad, I would find them mumbling to themselves. But they always insisted they were praying.

I remember learning the Sunday school mantra – read your bible and pray everyday. I learned all the major bible stories and many praise and worship songs. Even after leaving home, I continued to go to church and hold God in high esteem in my life. By high esteem, I mean calling on God mostly when I needed a crisis manager.

But now that I’ve come into this deep relationship God, I’m so confused why nobody told me THIS is what it feels like! It’s so much more than just going to church late at night, praying in the car and singing songs of worship. They were feeling something! Something deep down on the inside of them that cannot be explained. Something that made it a blessing to go to church at night. They were feeling the unexplainable peace and joy of God. The joy that won’t let any situation hold them captive. They were experiencing the presence of God. A presence that will have you waking up with the biggest smile on your face, simply because you know him.

Most times when we learn about God, we’re told so much about what God can do for us. How God can fix our problems. But there’s something so much deeper than that. THIS feeling. I really can’t explain it, but it is the most amazing, life transforming feeling ever. If someone would’ve told me THIS is what it’s like, I would’ve been here the second I came out of the womb.

I remember looking at people that were obsessed with God and thinking that their lives must be so boring. I wish they told me what they were experiencing! It’s more fun, more fulfilling and more amazing than anything this world has to offer.

Striving to live a life of worship to God in everything we do, rather than turning to God only when we need a crisis manager, leads to a far more fulfilling life. THIS feeling is a part of living a life of worship. THIS unexplainable feeling.

 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth. John 4:24

I Want To Be Free!

“I thought by now everything would have worked out. I thought by now I would’ve accomplished my goals. I thought I’d be there by now. God if you love me so much why am I still struggling? God when will I be free?”

Do any of these things sound familiar?

When everything is going wrong, it’s easy to turn to God and say, why me? Don’t you love me? But it’s important that we don’t equate God’s love for us with what he’s doing or not doing for us. When things are tough, we might want to console ourselves by thinking God will move swiftly to free us from a place where we feel trapped, because of his goodness and love for us.

But what does it mean to be free? Freedom is what Jesus did on the cross for us. Freedom is knowing that we have eternal life with God. Freedom is finding peace in a place where we feel trapped. Freedom is still being able to worship God in spirit and in truth even when everything else around us is falling apart. Freedom is having God so deep down on the inside of us that external circumstances don’t shift our view of God’s love and goodness.

God did so much for us when he sent his only son to die on the cross for us, so that we could have relationship with God.

But even though God did all of that for us, he still wants to move in our lives. Yet it’s important that we don’t equate what God can do for us with how much we love him, or how much he loves us. Because you know what? Sometimes we’re trapped a lot longer than we thought we would be. Sometimes goals aren’t achieved. Sometimes that sick person we’ve been praying for still passes away. Does that mean God isn’t good? Does that mean God doesn’t love us? No it doesn’t.

The issues we’re dealing with will most likely be resolved, but there’ll be another one after that. How we see God, can’t change every time things don’t turn out how we would like them too, or aren’t moving at the pace we’d like.

I’m not saying we should become comfortable when life isn’t going great, or shouldn’t work towards making things better.

But loving God just as much when everything is great, and when everything is bad, is a huge step forward in our relationship with God. When everything around you seems to be crumbling, but still feeling that peace from God that passes human understanding is amazing.

Then there’s also remembering that God will work the situation together for your good.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to HIS purpose. Romans 8:28

He’s going to use the current struggle to help you bring words of wisdom to others in the future, and to keep you stable during the next struggle of your life. Yes, it’s amazing to be free from bad circumstances and hard situations, but the ultimate freedom is God himself.

What To Do When You Feel Like Your Prayers Aren’t Being Answered

So over the past year, I’ve been praying some specific prayer points. Some have been answered, and others I’m still waiting for them to get answered.

But the prayer points I’m still waiting on are some of the major ones I really want to see answered in my life. Sometimes I find myself crying out to God.

Why haven’t you answered me yet?

You’re God Almighty. You have the power to change my situation with the snap of a finger. Lord, I trust you. You told me to give you my burden and take yours because yours is light Matthew 11:28-30. I don’t even stress about what’s going on because I’m trusting you. Why haven’t you answered me?

It gets frustrating sometimes, but I know the God I serve. He loves me and wants the best for me. I want to share a few tips on what I’m doing, and going to do while waiting on God to answer my prayers.

  1. I’m not going to lose faith or be idle. Like I said, God has the ability to change my situation with the snap of a finger. Today it might seem like nothing is happening in my situation, but tomorrow everything can change. I was reading 1 Samuel 4-6 today, and it was about how the people of Israel had the Ark of God stolen from them by the Philistines. It was very sad for Israel and it caused the people to cry loudly. For 7 months the Ark of God was in the possession of the Philistines. One day while the people in Beth Shemesh were busy harvesting their wheat, they looked up and saw the Ark of God. (The Philistines had to send it back because the Ark caused the people to suffer. Kind of like when we try to walk in someone else’s purpose, or enviously desire to be like someone else. But it’s hard to be successful in an endeavor God hasn’t given to you. But that’s a post for another day). So one day Israel had no Ark. But just like that their situation changed. They also weren’t idle during the waiting period. They were busy harvesting their wheat the Ark came. Just because I’m waiting on God to answer a prayer doesn’t mean everything stops. I keep on doing the work I need to do and trust that God is working. Cause he is even though it doesn’t look like it.

2.I‘m not going to stop praying. Like I said, God has answered some of my prayers points. So the same God that has answered those prayers is the same God that can answer the remaining.

3. I’m not going to let my unanswered prayers steal my joy. I’m still going to praise God and give thanks to God in all things. Let’s be honest. We’re human. Even before the prayers I’m waiting on to get answered are answered, I’ll have some more prayers points that I want to bring to God. If I keep putting off my joy till my prayers get answered, I  will never have peace. Which is why I love Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. It doesn’t say we should bring our request to God so that God will answer all our prayers, but that God will give us peace beyond understanding. That peace is so key. And that peace is what enables me to pray prayers that lead into my next point.

4. I ask God if there’s anything he wants me to learn while I’m waiting. I ask God to refine me in the waiting period. I ask God to work on me and use my current situation to strengthen me. As much as I want my prayers answered, my ultimate goal is heavenward.  Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. So I ask God to use my situation to refine me to make me more like Jesus. I love the way Romans 8:22-25 is written in the MSG version. It says we are enlarged in the waiting but we don’t see what is enlarging us. But the larger we become the more joyful our expectancy. We don’t always see it like this, but sometimes waiting can be a gift.

When I first drew closer to God, I went to God for things. I wanted the things more than I wanted God. But as I waited for the things, I grew closer to God and desired God more than I desired the things. And from my experience over the past year, not a single thing even COMPARES to having a relationship with God.

5. I don’t accept my situation as permanent. Yes, there are some circumstances you’ll have to face in life, but don’t get stuck in them because you believe that God desires to keep you in that situation. God doesn’t cause bad situations to happen in our lives, but he will allow us to go through them. You may need to be in that situation for a while to learn something, but not forever. Please don’t let a test turn into bondage. Like I said, God has the ability to change your situation with the snap of a finger. In the book of Judges, every time the Israelites cried out to God for help, he intervened. They would suffer for years and then cry out. And suffer for years again, and then cry out. I truly believe if they had cried out earlier, they wouldn’t have had to suffer for years at a time. It also didn’t take God years to answer them when they cried out. God wants us to live a life of abundance. We do not need to be so caught up in our situations, and always struggling to the point that we can’t even see the needs of others.

These points aren’t conclusive, but just what I wanted to share about waiting on God. In all of this, Philippians 4:6-7 is so key. Present your request to God with a heart of gratitude. You may not have everything you want, but you definitely have something to be grateful for. Then there’s the peace that comes with that. And being filled with that peace is so amazing. While waiting for God to answer our prayers we also want to be praying in alignment with God’s will for our lives. We do that by having a relationship with God. Spend time in the word. Spend time in prayer. Have your own relationship with God and be intentional about it.

Psalm 27:14  Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

It’s Valentine’s Day, I’m Single, But I’m In Love!

So it’s that time of year again. It’s Valentine’s Day! Around this time of year I used to get kind of sad if I didn’t have a man to spend time with on Valentine’s day. I always wanted someone to be around just for the sake of having someone around.

But this year it’s completely different. I almost forgot about Valentine’s day altogether. This year I am filled with the greatest love I’ve ever known. Yup the love of God. And no it’s not an excuse because I don’t have a man this Valentine’s day, and I have to fall back on God. I’m truly filled with the greatest love I’ve ever known. In the past if someone asked me out for Valentine’s day, I would jump at the opportunity to have a date for the day. If it’s a guy that I can talk to and get along well with, I would’ve said yes without thinking twice. This year I got asked out for Valentine’s day but I decided to say no.

Not just because my worth isn’t in having someone around for Valentine’s day, but also because I’m filled with so much love from God. God truly fills my heart and I am in a place where I am content in my singleness. I’ve learned to love God and have God’s love be enough for me. So I’m waiting on God’s best for me, and no longer entertaining relationships that aren’t God’s best for me.

There’s a joy in my heart that I really can’t put into words. I wake up filled with joy, spend my day filled with joy, and go to sleep filled with joy. I can honestly say it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s a joy that doesn’t change based on circumstances and situations, because I know the God I serve.

The void I tried to fill with a man could not be filled by a man. Only God can fill it and he has. That’s not to say I don’t wish I had a man sometimes. I do hope to get married one day and fulfill the purpose God has for me and my one day husband.  Some days I’m like “Ok hubby! You need to show up!”. But even with that, I always come back to focusing on God, and focusing on accomplishing the purpose God has called me to fulfill in this season. Even when I do get married my husband won’t take the place of God’s love in my heart. He’s not even capable of doing so. It’s so important come to a place of feeling complete and content with God’s love while single. That way when we do get married we’re not putting expectations on our spouses to give us the love that is only possible from God.

So yup! It’s Valentine’s day, I’m single but I’m very much in love!