God, If I’m Being Honest… (An Open Letter)

God,

This is my honest letter to you.

I know you’re all knowing and ever present, but there is a part of me that thinks I know better than you. A part of me thinks I can plan and  execute my life better than you can. I know, it’s crazy. But this is my honest letter. Sometimes you take too long and I prefer to take matters into my own hands and make things happen myself. I know what you’ve called me to do so I made plans to fund the calling on my life and started a couple business ventures without you. I want to live out your purpose for my life, but your girl doesn’t want to be broke doing so. Your girl has plans of being wealthy. So I think it’s a good idea to  pursue wealth first, then go ahead and do what you’ve called me to do. That way everything you’ve called me to do becomes optional and I’ve still got wealth. Don’t worry, I plan on helping people and starting non-profit organizations with my wealth. God if I’m being honest, I’m grateful you saved me, your love for me is amazing, your joy in my life is unshakable, your peace really does pass understanding, I want you at the center of my life, but the thing is, I don’t want to depend on you. I’m just being honest.

But here’s what I’ve discovered. Living a life dependent on you is actually the sweetest thing. I don’t know what you did to me in the last week of January (Yes, your girl only learned to surrender a whole 6 weeks ago – and still learning) but you came in and made surrender my heart’s posture.

One question someone asked changed it all. “What would your life look like if it was God’s plan for your life and not your plan?” 

And it was like every song, scripture, and sermon I encountered the month after was about surrender, obedience, and doing what you want. This series especially.

I’ve discovered when I try to do it on my own, I mess it up. Apparently, you fund your ideas and don’t really need my fundraising business campaigns. What I discovered is that I can still get the business, still get the wealth, but your timing, your plan, and your way is so much better.

But if I’m being honest, what I want more than what I want, is what you want. God, I want a life dependent on you no matter what that looks like. I want you to get the glory out of my life. I want my life to leave a track record of miracles, a track record of your power, your grace, and your hand on my life. I want it be so evident God was here. Let people look at my life and be forced to say, only God did that. God come in and have your way. When I wrote my most recent blog post about setting goals for the year, I was setting goals without you.

Well God, I’m here to say I’m sorry. Take my goals, my plans, my ideas, my selfish ambitions and make them yours. I drop every plan that was made without you, and I say Yahweh, have your way. This life is yours.

Sincerely your daughter,

Adebosoye – The crown has returned to the throne 

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. – Galatians 2:20