How I’m Learning To Walk and WORK with God
It’s been a long time! Where have I been you ask? (Yeah I know you didn’t ask but imma act like you did)
I’ve been running. I’ve been running around and doing everything that I want to do to fulfill my plans for my life. As I was running I felt a nudge here and there that I may not be going in the direction God wants me too, but I ignored it and I kept running. Over the last couple of weeks, I took some time to rest. I took time to be still in the presence of God and listen. It’s not like I wasn’t spending time with God while I was running. But after I would spend time with God in the morning, I had busy and full days. When I took time to rest, I literally rested. I took time to ask God, what do you want?
It seems like what I struggle the most with in my walk with God, is self-ambition. I want to be successful and look successful on my terms. When I took time to rest I realized I was somewhat burnt out. I was working hard in my personal life and at work but I didn’t realize it was draining me. During my time of rest, I found so much peace in the scripture Matthew 11:28- 30 MSG
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
I was exhausted because although I was walking with God, I wasn’t working with God. I seem to run in and out of God’s rhythm of grace. For a few weeks I might be so excited about doing what God wants, but then run off and pursue my own ambitions. But during the time I took to rest, God showed me that I was pursuing my plans for my life because I was finding my identity in how other people saw me. Ouch. That was a tough realization. I was so sure I found my identity in Christ. But God showed me the reason I was interested in my pursuits was because of how I wanted to be perceived by other people.
I said okay God. This isn’t the first time I’ve been here. This isn’t the first time I’ve let my self-ambition get in the way of you want me to do. Matter of fact, I wrote a blog post on that. So how do I learn to work with you? How do I learn to trust your plan over my own?
It starts with understanding my identity in Christ. And yes if you’ve been following me, you know this isn’t the first time I’ve written on identity. Got a blog post for that too. So how do I learn to put my identity in Christ? To do that I have to receive and accept what God says about me. I have to be more intimate with God by spending more time with God. So I’m currently on a journey of really understanding who I am in Christ.
Recently as I was journaling I wrote down, “You are my child. Understand that as part of your identity. A child is taken care of. Understand that I’m taking care of you.” I know we hear we are God’s children all the time but it was like a revelation for me at that moment. Luke 10:41-42 NLT says,
“My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
What Mary was doing was sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to him. I felt like I was worried about so many details and things in my life and God was saying to me, I’m your father. I’m taking care of you. Come and sit at my feet. Just like when a child is not worried about how food shows up in the house and how bills are paid, God was saying to stop worrying about everything and let me take care of you. I’m the father. You’re my child. (Please I’m not saying you should be irresponsible and not take care of your bills. Pay your bills child of God!)
In true God fashion, he demonstrated his fatherhood shortly after this journaling moment. I needed to pick something up from another office for work. The entire road the office was on was flooded and I didn’t think it made sense to drag my little car through the water. So I parked the car and got out without knowing what to do next. Right away, these people came by on a motorbike and I asked for a ride. They kept going at first but came back and got me and dropped me at the office. I got there dry! I started thinking about how I was going to get back but I went ahead and picked up what I needed first. Just as I was ready to leave, there were people in a car leaving the office about to go down the road. In true Bosoye fashion, I asked for a ride and I got dropped off back at my car. I initially parked my car not knowing how I would get through the flooded road, but modes of transportation were provided for me both ways with complete ease. I didn’t have to wait for a ride at all. It was perfect timing when I was going and when I was leaving.
I just laughed when I got in my car, and I said, thank you daddy. I get it! You’re my father. I’m your child. That was a small thing, but it also helped me to see God is also my father in the big things. I don’t have to have everything figured out on my own. He’s my father and he’s taking care of me.
So here I am. Learning to walk and WORK with God. Learning my identity in who I am in Christ. Learning to lay down my self-ambitions (again) and trust that what God has for me is better than anything I could ask or imagine for myself. Here I am God.