Have you ever been so scared to do something because you didn’t know how it was going to turn out? Well that was me not too long ago.
A few weeks ago I spent a couple weeks just being really sad and full of anxiety about the future. I was really stressed out because I was so scared how different situations were going to turnout. I spent entire days talking myself into and out of doing something. I was trying to figure out what the outcome was going to be for every decision I made and in trying to do so I didn’t do anything. I was in a state of unrest and confusion.
Then I had a wonderful conversation with a friend and it changed everything for me. She told me that me trying to figure out everything on my own is me not trusting God. I was trusting in my own abilities and my own strength to be able to move forward with my life. God used that conversation to show me how indecisive I was being and how that indecision was leading me to stagnancy. Instead of just taking a step forward I was trying to plan everything out. But if I say I surrender my life to God, and I trust in his unending plan for me, I shouldn’t be worried about the future.
I’ve come up with a motto whenever the thought “How’s it going to turn out?” pops up in to my head.
It’s none of my business.
It’s not my job to worry about how it will turn out. If I say I’m trusting God, I need to pray and trust that God will fulfill the desires he has put in my heart.
But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:6-8
The two weeks of depression, anxiety and indecisiveness I went through were really annoying to me because before that I was resting in God. I was full of peace. I was all about Philippians 4:6-7.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Then my friend said something else to me that also got my attention.
It’s one thing to get into God’s rest, it’s another thing to stay there.
The are so many distractions in the world that can easily get our attention and pull us away from God. We need to be actively guarding our thoughts and discerning the information we consume.
So after that day I went on a mission to get back to that place of rest and stay there.
My control problem hasn’t magically disappeared. I’m still working on not worrying so much about the outcome. It’s a process and it’ll take time but I fully intend on releasing the need to have control. I’m resting in God, taking steps to move forward with my life and not focusing so much on how everything is going to turn out. Because it’s none of my business.